Admiration/family commitment

Ok, so we started discussing his & her five most important needs. Remember the loss of these needs, according to this author, is what leads to distance, lack of fulfillment and ultimately divorce. Here is the authors website if you care: http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi3300_needs.html

The his list is
1. sexual fullfillment, 2 recreational companionship, 3 attractive spouse, 4 domestic support, 5 admiration.
Her list is:
1. affection, 2 conversation/communication, 3 openness and honestly, 4 financial commitment, 5 family commitment.

We discussed that the order might switch around for some people, for example #2 seemed too high on the list for some guys, 5 too low. I am kind of shocked myself that this author says women need money (4) more than family commitment (5)... some women might reorder their list too, but we are going to discuss them in this order for simplicity.

Notes from today: We camped out on "admiration" alot, perhaps too much. Some thoughts about it that people in the class brought out:

• It does need to be verbal , and criticisms limited.
  
• It isn't the same as "respect" or even "appreciation" - it's much simpler.
  
• These needs are interconnected, if he is going to provide the financial & family commitment needs, he wants some admiration for that role.
• Yes, women have a need to be admired & appreciated, though this author says it is much less than the need men have, but it is important to note that these "needs" are not owned exclusively by one spouse.
  
• Admiration doesn't need to be for when things are done "perfect" - you can admire effort, willingness, attempt, thoughts, ideas, integrity, honesty, commitment.... not just jobs well done.
  
• We seemed to equate - and this is my fault - the need for admiration to the needs for self worth. I would say that if a man had the strongest self image possible - he would still be tempted to gravitate away from a spouse who did not full fill this kind of need. God can give him self-worth, but he still has a need to be admired by his spouse for that worth!
  

We began talking about "Family Commitment": here are initial thoughts and questions for next time.

• Women agreed that this was a true need.
  
• Women often carry the burden for the development of the kiddos, they need husbands to be as committed to it as they are.
  
• The synopsis I read says women want men to take a leadership role in the development of the kiddos, but it seemed to me that many ladies said the need was more for support of what they were doing - I'm interested in discussing these two situations.
• ? for next week - What gets in the way from women feeling fullfilled in this need? - guys and girls might have different answers. What are suggestions for men to DO to let the wives see their commitment?

Other comments: There is a tendency to say 'but what about me' or try to find out 'why do they need that' - We possibly talked too much about "why" men want admiration instead of "how" to lovingly fulfill that need. Also, while it is most certainly true that God meets our needs I would caution us that unless we address "how" that can lead us to feeling like "well - it isn't ultimately my job to do those things" when in fact it most certainly is. Take other needs, such as physical needs, God can certainly provide those to people, but it is most often done through others, and it is often up to us to do so. Interestingly reading the new testament we are told that meeting the physical needs of the poor is paramount to serving God himself, when we DO something to meet any need, God is involved through us whether it is a spiritual, emotional or physical need. Now, emotional needs are just as profound and God graciously meets them through other people. Be careful that the "get it from God" doesn't just equal fasting... fasting of course is a great spiritual discipline and Paul even talks about abstaining from sex to devote yourself to prayer (very much as fasting from a basic need) - but fasting forever has ... well.. negative consequences. My point is: yes, God ultimately provides for our needs... and he has provided a spouse to do so.

SplashJam will take place at Elizabeth Milburn Park on Sunday, August 31 from 1 to 8 pm. Their will be live music, swimming, games, prizes, and fireworks. Admission is $3 for adults and $1 for children (pool admission is seperate). The park is located at 1901 Sun Chase Blvd. The pool has slides and other water activities. It looks like it would be a lot of fun for the kids.

• Oak Hill United Methodist Church is hosting their Annual Summer Jam next Saturday, August 23 from 5 to 8 pm. Bands from local churches will be performing. Their will be barbecue and activities for the kids as well. The tickets are $10 for adults and $7 for children. Bring a lawn chair and a swim suit. The church is located at 7815 Hwy 290 West. This sounds like a good Christian family event.

DONATIONS PLEASE

Hey guys! We need your help. Our class is busy collecting items for several different reasons. First we are making a few baskets for a HPBC silent auction and we are making care packages for soldiers. If you can donate any of the following items that would be awesome. You can bring them to class or contact us.

For Auction
-children's books
-mom's relaxation items (candles, soaps, lotions, good book, etc.)
-can get business to donate a gift card to auction
-can donate your time or craft for the auction as well (photography, art work, jewelry making, etc.)

For Soldier Care Package
-snacks (beef jerky, hard candy, mints, sunflower seeds, jaw breakers, gum etc.)
-nice letter
-things to do (books, magazines, deck of cards, dominoes, puzzles, dice, hacky sack, etc.)
-AT&T international calling card
-toiletries (sunblock, hand sanitizer, toothpaste, shampoo, icy hot packs, chap stick, foot powder, etc.)
-inflatable pillow, stress relief ball, pens, rayzors, disposable camera, etc.

Thanks so much for your help and support!!!

Children's/Families' Programs and Events

Wells Branch Community Library, 15001 Wells Port Drive does a Baby Sign Time every other Tuesday at 2:00 pm. The next one takes place Tuesday, August 26. I've not been to this specific program but I have attended a few of their storytimes and Brooklyn and I have really enjoyed them. This sounds like it would be a really neat program for those with pre-verbal children.

This Sunday - Bible Translations and Versions

Hey everyone!

Continuing in our Bible 101 series we now enter the third section which focuses on how best to study the Bible. To study the Bible, we have to actually read it (surprise, surprise). Given that most of us can't read ancient Hebrew and Greek in which the Bible was originally written in, we have to pick an English translation and rely on it to accurately relay the truths to us from the original languages. Therfore, kicking off this section we will be talking about English translations, trying to answer the following questions:

Which translation is best to use for study?
Are some translations better than others? Do the "KJV only" folks have good reasons why it is better?
What exactly are the differences between various translations?
Are there different approcahes to creating a translation?
Do all translations use the same source Hebrew and Greek texts?

So...bring your favorite translations and be prepared to tell us why you might prefer one over another as we talk about their unique characteristics and histories!

Recap Sunday 8-10

I feel like today went well, though I wish I had emphasized the difference between how Mr. D's and Mr. J's philosophical views contrasted with how they actually lived; The more "conservative" view sacrificed for his wife's career, and the more moderate seemed to his insistence that he get his way (like his new acquisitions... Glock, Motorcycle, flat screen...). Perhaps there is no real contradiction? Of course, you understand I orchestrated real data somewhat for discussion so I hope you do not criticize either man too much, I know you don't.

Over all I hope two points came across: 1) It was easy to pick apart my simplistic view of these two guys, but do you know your own problem areas, where you need to work? 2) We should remember this when we start to judge others who might have more obvious flaws...

The OT Canon Wrap Up

To recap Sunday's lesson on the OT canon, I realize I need to spend a little more time talking about how the 39 books we do have came together. The majority of the lesson on Sunday focused on what the OT Apocrypha is and where it came from and why other Christian traditions include it in their OT and we don't. Honestly, there is not much to say about how the other 39 books came to us. There is not much historical information on exactly how and when the Jews made their decisions on which books they considered scripture, other than this process (which may have taken place over hundreds of years) seemed to be complete and settled by the 3rd century BC or so.

Through quotations made by Jesus and the NT authors, as well as some other historical references, we are pretty confident that the books the Jews considered scripture in 1st century Palestine are the 39 books we (and the Jews) have today in our OT. There has been some speculation on the inclusion of three of the books, as we discussed; Esther, Song of Solomon, and Ecclesiastes, primarily due to their content (or lack of it).

To sum up our talk on the apocrypha, I'll just cut and paste from my conclusion slide:


•The 39 books Protestants use today were most likely the books considered scripture by Jesus and the apostles, without the apocrypha
•The Christian support for the apocrypha primarily came about through the Septuagint, or Greek translation of the OT
•The vast majority of the early and medieval church (2nd - 16th centuries) embraced the apocrypha as scripture to some degree
•Today it is generally universally recognized by those that include the apocrypha that it is not as authoritative as the other OT books

I guess one take away I have from this is that we shouldn't let the fact that some traditions place the apocryphal books in their OT cause too much division. Since most of the early church has found these books valuable to their faith, they may be worth the read, though I would stop short of basing any doctrine on them.

Here is the updated deck for download:
http://www.sendspace.com/file/0h54qn

Until next time...

-casey