Moms, Kids, and Discipline Questions

I wanted to go ahead and try to give an answer for a couple of questions we got for the teachers' panel that we won't get to in class. I'll quote the question and give my best answer.

1st Question: when the bible refers to the "rod" in discipline does it mean spanking or could it just mean consistent discipline? how literally do we take it?

All of the references to the 'rod' I'm aware of come from the book of Proverbs. In context I believe the writer of Proverbs (generally believed to be Solomon) is meaning a literal rod for disciplining that looks very similar to how folks discipline via spanking today.

The question then becomes (with the assumption that the Bible is the authoritative word of God), are references to the rod in Proverbs to be interpreted as 1) absolute commands, and 2) the only alternative for every situation. I believe the answers to both of those questions to be "no". While I do take the Bible very seriously, I also believe Proverbs is primarily a collection of sayings that give general and practical advice. For the most part, they are not commands, but rather applications of Godly based wisdom phrased in such a way that they are memorable and stick with you (at least in the original language and culture, though its amazing how well some of them translate).

Therefore, I don't see that we are commanded to use 'rod' based discipline as the only option in our parenting. However, at the very least these verses in Proverbs stress the importance of serious discipline, and further they lend a lot of wieght to spanking as a method, being that it is the only one specifically prescribed in scripture that I'm aware of (outside of stoning in the OT law, but that is another subect).

Question #2: im reading a book on moses and the author used moses's birth mother as an example of stay at home moms. she had the opportunity to train him up in his toddler years and lay a religious foundation that stuck w/ him into adulthood. he encourages all mothers to follow by example and stay at home w/ their kids and not do preschools ect (unless you have to). i am a stay at home mom who also takes advantage of preschool so my son can develop socialization skills. he is painfully shy and would never adjust to school otherwise. what does other scripture/biblical examples suggest? is preschool not a good thing?

I don't know that we have a lot of scriptural examples for things like pre-school. The example of Moses is only tangentially related, in my opinion. Being raised in Pharoah's house as his own grandchild is a little different than sending your kid to a pre-school...it is more like giving your kid up for adoption. That being said, there are a few legitimate parallels you could draw, however it is far from being prescriptive on how to raise your children, other than showing the importance of instilling in them the faith we have.

In Moses' situation, he was going to be solely raised by another family and be ignorant of his people's customs and God. Moses' mother was able to not only give him those things he would miss, but also be his mom. This is quite different than already being a stay at home mom, and sending your kid to a part time preschool to help him socialize.

I think there are definite advantages to moms staying home with their kids, but some situations won't allow it. The Bible, I think, is silent on trying to impose some sort of rule. Like many other things, this is not necessarily a black and white issue, but requires consideration of many angles, weighing of pros and cons, and possibly most importantly, a check and review of motives.

Relating to both questions, while the Bible has made many issues black and white, there are many more which are gray. If you think about it, religions often have opportunity to give many commands that ultimately end up being culturally or situationally relative. Part of the amazing nature of the New Testament is it's lack of culturally relative commands. Not that there aren't any, but I think God very much limited scripture to focus on the basic absolute truths that are easily applicable across time an cultures. Other "holy" books are full of commands that make little sense out of their chronological and cultural context. The Old Testament could be accused of this as well, however, the New Testament provides us the lense in which to apply and understand the OT laws.

The flipside of that, however, is that we don't have specific direction or commands from the Bible for many of life's questions and decisions, and we are left to apply His law of love situationally. Prayer, His Word and Holy Spirit help us with that, and there is a lot of freedom we have in decisions...often we abuse our freedoms for our own selfish ends. But praise God for his wisdom, direction and the freedom we have in Him. It is tough trying to guess WWJD in all situations of life, but He is graceful and merciful where we get it wrong. We are not going to mess up our kids beyond God's ability to save them. Raising them our very best our kids are still sinners in need of redemption and sure to be "messed up" to some degree or other.

THANK YOU JESUS FOR SAVING US!